To all the Moms....

The other day, I was at Walmart pick up something for work and as I was booking it to the garden section of the store, behind me I heard a child having a little bit of a meltdown in the store buggy. This child was probably around the same age as my son (maybe). As I was walking I heard this man say "you brought that fucking kid in here, are you fucking kidding me right now". I came to a dead stop and turned my head towards this gentleman who made the comment. I finally made eye contact with the crying child and the mother who wasn't even close to this man they were quite far from him. I looked at this man... and shook my head. I literally had a loss for words in that moment because everything I wanted to say was not nice. I think what I had to say wasn't nice because I've BEEN that mom, and I think some reading this can relate to being in public and having your child have a meltdown. I know not many people have a tolerance for a sc

reaming child, let alone a screaming child that isn't theirs, however I wish people would remember that children are people too and they are allowed to have a time when they aren't feeling it.

This child wasn't crying because he wasn't getting his way, he was probably crying because the last thing he wanted to do was be shopping. It was mid afternoon, maybe he didn't have a scheduled nap? Maybe he didn't have a great morning who knows. What I do know is that comment was pretty bold and ignorant, considering where else would the child have been left? Maybe she's a single mom with no help? This person didn't know the situation.

SO I just want to say to all the moms, and caregivers who have children that at times cry in public, please worry about your child not about stopping them because they are too loud and it might annoy someone. Don't be embarrassed, and do what you need to do as a parent for your child.

I remember a few

days before I witnessed this, after work I had to go to Fortinos to get some stuff, I know going after work (which means Dominic going after daycare) will be hit and miss. My child has a mom that works in childcare. RIGHT NOW there is a lot of staffing issues in this career field so sometimes he has longer days then others because I need to cover ratios at my site. I know this is a long day for him which is why doing anything after work or daycare is hit and miss. It was a hot day and I wanted to pick up some of his favoirte cold ice cream treats to stock the fridge. When we got to all the amazing choices I picked out a few and said which one did you want. He obviously picked out something that was the same but were just to big for him. When I said how about this it set him off. He sad down on the ground screaming and crying and saying "no mommy this one." BELIEVE ME I wanted to be like "stop your getting nothing then", but I tried to keep in mind the day he may have had, it was a hot day, he was in daycare late... I knew how he felt because I felt the same. I was tired, I wanted to go home, but I still needed to get the adult things done. I moved us out of the way of a women who was looking in the fridges were we were, I sat on the floor next to him and said "are you okay." Dominic shook his head no at me. I said to him "did you need a hug" he said he's and hugged me. When I felt like he had come down a bit from this meltdown I then said, Dominic these are to big for you, but look they have this one just for you or this one, which would you like and he was able to then pick one out put it in the basket and insisted

on helping me carry the basket. The older women who witnessed this from beginning to end said to me "your such a great mother" and I just said to her "thank you, but it's a lot of trial and error... today just happed to work out."

I'm not saying everyone should do this, I'm saying this is what worked for me on that day BUT I had the same feelings as the women that I seen and the same feelings I'm sure all of you have had at one time or another.

During that time I had SOOOOO many on lookers and I could feel them staring into my soul. I convin

ced myself they were saying things under their breath about how my child was. But my child is a sweet boy who is just developing how to regulate himself and what that looks like. Steven will tell you sometimes, I just don't have the patience for it but I still try and model healthy responses to things because children look up to all the adults in their lives. As moms we always pile so much on ourselves, and hold ourselves to a high standard and that's what makes us great moms, because only GREAT moms feel the way we feel. BUT we also have to give ourselves grace and remember we are also human, and we need to take care of us to be able to take care of the littles in our lives.

I've been learning a lot about supporting children through tough emotions, and their mental health because of something that has come up in my life. I want to ensure I'm sending my son into the world confident with coping strategies so he can continue to keep pushing forward in life.

I feel for that women I saw the other day, and I wish people would have more compassion sometimes, but everyone is entitled to their own thoughts and words. So I'm just thankful in that moment that women was not in ear distance of his comments because I'm sure she had enough on her plate never mind having someone comment as if she's this horrible mom.

It's not easy to be a mom, remember that... NO ONE knows what they are doing, they are just doing the best they can wit

h what they have.

Christina